Close your eyes and imagine you are 5 years old.
The excitement of going to school for the first time and making friends thrills you.
All you had to say was “wanna play with me?” And your classmates said “tag you’re it” and you were off! Playing a game of chase and instantly this person was your first best friend.
Flash forward to freshman year of high school.
You are starting over again but with similar stakes as before.
You sit next to someone in the assigned seating chart for math class, and say “Hi I’m Hannah.” Then you notice they are also in your English and drama classes so you become close.
College is the even more of a playing field for making friends!
Everyone has moved and knows almost no one so you can talk easily and have more friends to go to lunches or parties with.
Post-college and beyond is where things get tricky.
You may still have the close friends from college or high school (like myself) but they don’t live nearby.
You make a few friends at some jobs but once you aren’t working there – the friendships are harder to keep.
The pandemic caused friction between friendships because you were on a stricter lockdown than most.
You still have a few solid friends that cycle through each month, but how do you make more?
It feels strange to ask people to get together after work or on days off.
There is this awkwardness of thinking they probably have plans or a forced “dating” concept to break the first barriers of getting to know you.
It was so simple back when all you had to do was say “Wanna play horses?” And BAM, you had 7 kids giddying up and neighing with you at recess.
You are right on spot here. The simplicity of making friends and keeping them changes in every stage.
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Yes that’s definitely it! Every stage seems to be different – when we have kids, there’ll be a new group of “parent friends”
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I wrote my slice about companionship today. I feel like, you have to definitely work at it and make time for it. It’s not easy because everyone is following their own rules. I wish it was easy for us adults as well.
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Oh what a coincidence! Yes everyone is going about it their own way (or just fine with who they already have)
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There’s so much truth in this! This inspires to write about making and losing friends too, at every stage of life.
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It was SO MUCH EASIER! You’ve nailed it.
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So funny, because I was going to write a slice about friendships in adulthood. Honestly, it’s so hard to keep them. To find them. At one point it was just a random adult at a park who had a kid, too…and you’re so right — so awkward to be like “Want to hang out?”. Thank you for making me not feel alone in this!
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Glad it’s not just me as well! I felt vulnerable posting about this today so I’m happy it’s helping others feel normal about their feelings with meeting people too
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I could relate to your story…it’s so much harder to make friends now than when we were kids. I enjoyed the trip down memory lane to the playground with friends, lots of friends…basically anyone who wanted to play a game.
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Being painfully shy as a kid, it wasn’t always easier for me BUT thankfully there were enough kids in my class who invited me to play that I still made friends. You are right though it is different at every stage in life.
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That is true – I’m glad you had kids invite you! I only had one main friend as a kid and it was tough in middle school because I was younger than everyone and thus more immature.
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